Knot Just One

August was a busy month for me this year.  We started off with a big carnival production at church that consumed much of my time for the 2 short weeks that we had to put it together and pull it off.  That was followed closely by my 10th wedding anniversary, and then a 9 day family vacation in no-man's-land near Paradise, MI (delightful, but quite the packing extravaganza) and we returned a mere 38 hours before I had to have my oldest daughter at the bus stop, starting public school for the first time (second grade) AND home-schooling my kindergartener while my 2 littlests tear my house to shreds.  There was also soccer registration, reading group sign-up, ballet enrollment and tuition deadlines, doctor's appointments and the usually housework and groceries....  But the most stressful thing BY FAR that I have had to deal with lately has been sending my biggest girl off to school.  

 That week was full of physical, mental and emotional stress for all of us as we adjusted to the new routine, and fear on my part as she ventured out into a peanut contaminated world with her Epi-Pen at her side, but without me there to protect her.  It all got me thinking (look out). 

10 years ago I didn't just "Tie the knot" as they say.  I don't think that, in any successful marriage, you can simply tie THE knot.  It's not just one.  One knot can't hold you together through stuff like this (and the other things that we've come through and the much BIGGER stuff that we will face in the future).  Your wedding ceremony is just the FIRST knot.   That’s a BIG DAY!  It’s the FIRST DAY of your entire future together, and you stand there at the alter stringing two lives together with a tight bond that matches it’s metaphor well.  You tie a knot.  It's undoubtedly the one that starts them all, the one that none of the others can do without, and you could certainly argue that it's the one that is the MOST important.  It says, before God and men, "I love you and I promise to always be with you." But it can't stand alone for long.  Each trial that your marriage comes through ties another.  When you graduate college and tackle the job search, when you move to a new home, when you face failures (that WILL come), when you find out you're going to be a parent for the first time, when you fight like only two people who love one another passionately can... and then apologize and more forward... each one ties a new little knot, a little further down the line, but connected all the same.  Knots that say “I still love you,” and “I’m still here.”  

Then you welcome your first baby, you change careers, you face financial hardships and deaths in the family, and your baby becomes a big sister... and still you keep tying.  It's the little things, those knots.  The dinner on the table after a long day.  The date night that you set up at home after bedtime.  The hug when it's needed the most.  The "thank you."  The "I'm sorry."  Suddenly you find that you have a little net.  It's stronger than the lone knot.  It can hold more.  It can stand up to bigger things.  You buy a house, baby 3 comes along, and you keep tying. Knots of “Hang in there, we’ll get through this.” and “Look what we did!” and “You were right, I was wrong.”  Stringing them together, knot after knot.  Sacrifices for one another, that reinforce your net.  You buy a new car, you get a promotion, you start home-schooling... and keep tying.  “Let’s do this together, I’ll help you.”   Your net is able to handle these bigger changes/stresses that are thrown at it.  Baby 4 comes along, you drop into bed exhausted at the end of every day.  And still you keep tying knots.  “We’re a team.”  And your net grows.  

It grows strong enough to hold back the temptations, the heartaches and pain of a fallen world.  All that life throws at us, our net can stand against.  So that, when we're staring down a week of highly stressful changes like the one we just came through, we know that it will hold.  We will have the little things to deal with, the stuff that slips though the holes; lunches to pack, school clothes to wash, fears to conquer, confidence to build, routines to adjust...  but those are the opportunities for new knots, and we don't have to worry about the big stuff.   Because the big stuff isn’t as big as what we’ve built (with God’s help and direction for sure) for ourselves.  

Just by tying little knots.  Every.  Single.  Day.  

"Wonderful"

I know that I probably say this a lot, but, by God’s blessing, my life is REALLY wonderful.  I don’t mean the kind of wonderful that describes your favorite movie or the decadence of  Double Fudge Brownie Blast ice cream.  It’s a word that has become part of our daily vocabulary; for use in every pleasurable situation, from scoring a deal on cereal to reconnecting with a dear old friend.  Those things are nice, entertaining, tasty,  convenient, and enjoyable.  Some may even fit the word correctly, but are degraded by it simply because of it’s over-use.
       “Wonderful” is defined as an adjective meaning “excellent; great; marvelous… of a sort that causes or arouses wonder; amazing astonishing.”
When I say that my life is wonderful, I mean that it is actually filled FULL of WONDER.  Though it’s definition isn’t exclusive to positive feelings (and there are times when I find myself staring dumb-founded at one of my progeny who has managed to get their head stuck in a railing to no apparent purpose, or I marvel and my husband who is looking -with difficulty- for the bread that is 8” under his nose in plane sight) we do tend to associate with things of a pleasing nature, and don’t often use it in negative situations.  And it is in that way that I use it now.
I wonder at things that, like the word itself, we often take for granted.  My life, health and functionality, in a world where so many are born with disabilities, or aborted before they take their first breath.  I wonder at my citizenship.  As many criticisms as I can find with the government and policies, I was born in what I believe to be the greatest nation on earth.  What are the odds of that?  I wonder at my salvation in Christ, and all that He has done for me (that is a book of its own).  I wonder at my husbands love for me, and our story.  That he chose me to be with, at the intimacy and connection that we share, and that we make the perfect team.  And, more than anything else, I wonder at my beautiful daughters.  My four precious, intelligent, creative, forgiving, loving, independent, fire-y, daring, thoughtful, adorable, curious and inquiring girls.
When we were expecting my oldest I wondered at her growth, and the miracle of life inside of life.  When she was born I was amazed at her tiny little likenesses to myself and my husband.  As she grew and my others came into our lives I wondered (and still do) daily at the beauty and creative design that went into them.  At the potential that is before them.  And at the individuality that IS each of them.  I look at their little feet and wonder at the places they will travel.  I look at their little blue eyes and marvel over the things that they will see.  I look at their precious hands and try to imagine some of the things that they will do with them.  I cherish these moments.  And I and filled with wonder at them.
From the time I get up in the morning until I collapse onto my pillow at night there is never a dull  moment.  There is never a lack of fulfillment or purpose.   I am not entitled to anything that I have, and it could all be gone in a moment.  But it’s not.  By God’s blessing it is here around me, and within me, every day.  And, even at 30 years old, I feel like a kid when I think about it all. It’s rather exciting.  It’s real.  It’s joyful and painful and hopeful and rewarding.  It’s amazing.
My life is wonderful.  Every blessed moment of it.  In the truest sense of the word.  Wonderful

Thoughts of a 4-year-old girl.

Some time ago my newly 4-year-old daughter was having some deep thoughts while riding in the car on the way to her cousins house.  The following conversation took place:

Abby:  "Mom?"
Me: "Yes?"
Abby: "I've learned something.  'Almost' means 'no.'"
Me: "Well, what do you mean exactly?"
Abby: "Like when I race with Lily and I say, "Did I win?" and you say, "Almost."

I guess she has a point there....

Later, on the way HOME from that same visit to her cousins she piped up from the back seat, "Mom, I learned something ELSE today!  Boys are ALMOST like people!"

In summary, Boys = Almost People, Almost = No

I guess this was an educational day for her.  :)

A Mother's version of computer terminology.

Another old favorite I stumbled upon today:

Re-Boot = Second cup of coffee

De-Fragment = Frantically and systematically finishing off the 6 projects that you started and abandoned earlier in the day. 

Monitor = Quietly supervising from the kitchen while they play in the living room.

Tower = Laundry pile

Memory = "I think I saw your teddy bear under the end table sweet heart. And your left shoe is behind the laundry hamper."

Hard drive = 72 in a 65 to make it home from the store before the pop-cicles, and the 2 year old, both melt.

Control Panel = Kitchen counter

Trash can = Trash can (and, magically, always full...)

Mega-byte = "Spit that out before you choke!"

Screen saver = Sliding glass door

Processor = Where you quickly dump your veggies when they aren't looking.

Software = Slippers

Start Menu = What you planned to make for dinner before you realized that someone ate all of the cheese

Does God ever poke Himself in the eye?

There are those moments, as a mother, that just can't be matched.  Some come in the form of humility, in other's we're bursting with pride.  Often we may find ourselves moved to tears.  We revel at these tiny people entrusted to us.  In some we may find ourselves terribly embarrassed (don't worry, we'll get our chance to return the favor later).  Then there are moments when, even though we are a good deal older, wiser and more proficient in almost every area of life than our children are, we find ourselves perfectly stumped.  We are absolutely dumbfounded, and at a complete loss for words.  This section of my blog is a little different than the rest.  You won't find recipes or crafty stuff here, just a little peek into my very BLESSED life as a mom.  A sample of what I see every day, of all that I have to be thankful for, and of the inspiration for the rest of this blog.  I created it today, to share some stories (both old and new) with you.  May I never take a moment for granted.

This is an old favorite.  My oldest daughter (now 6) was 3 at the time.  It is so priceless that I recorded it right away, so that I wouldn't forget it.  I copied the story below:

On the way home from church the other night, with the girls in the car, Lily's foot was hurting (I think it was a blister of some sort from her shoes) and the following conversation took place:
Lily: "Maybe God just made the skin on my foot like that."
Me: "Like what sweetie?"
Lily: "Like hurting the way it is."
Me: "Well, God doesn't like to make us hurt sweetie, he likes us to be happy and not to have boo-boo's. He wouldn't make your foot hurt I don't think. I'll bet that it'll start to feel better soon."
Lily: "But maybe he accidentally made it that way."
Me: "God doesn't make accidents sweet heart, He doesn't make mistakes. He's perfect. We all make mistakes, but God doesn't."
Lily: "Everyone makes mistakes?"
Me: "Yup, everyone."
At this point Lily proceeds to name several people whom she really wished to know if they, specifically, made any mistakes. Apparently these people were perfect in her little eyes and she needed reassurance that they were human. The list included her friend Brooke from church, Brooke's mother, and Lily's own Grandma - my mother (I feel slightly hurt that it did not include me ;-) Satisfied with my answers she grew quiet for some time and then piped up again:
Lily: "Mom....does God ever poke Himself in the eye?"
Oh to know what is going on in that precious little head. :-)

My little dog lover

We don't have a dog.  But we do have a Lauren.  She's 2 years old and LOVES puppies and dogs. "Wren" spends much of her life crawling around on the floor, panting and barking (something I usually discourage at the grocery store, but have gotten used to in the house).  Her sisters have taken full advantage of this, and they've taught her to sit, shake and fetch.  We don't have a cat either, but I think she's already onto them (at least she has made her opinion of them rather clear).  She likes them, but they rate FAR below dogs on the coolness meter.  Her dog-loving heart was revealed afresh today when she brought me a bean-bag toy kitten laying on it's back in her arms, and we had the following conversation:

Wren: "Mommy, da kitty is SICK!"

Me: "Oh NO!  What is wrong with her?!?!?"

Wren: "She sick and keepth thayin' MEOW MEOW!"

Me: "Oh!  Is that a problem?"

Wren: "YEAH!"  (bangs on kitty's tummy a few times and listens for breathing - I swear that's not how I treat ailments in this house)

Wren: "WOOF WOOF!   Dare, LOOK, she's all better now!  WOOF WOOF!" (turns kitty right-side-up and saunters off )

So there you have it folks.  Kitties are just sickly dog-wanna-be-s hoping for a miraculous cure.